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Pun with modern cooking
Lo encontré hoy con un chiste bastante divertido en el periódico "Selecciones," que es el traducción español de "Reader's Digest." Ese chiste, por casualidad, es tal divertido en inglés como en español.
"Tengo un niño de tres años, quién es muy hablante. Cada vez que la alarma de la microondas soña, me dice, 'esta es el tucroondas!' "
I ran across a cute joke today (in "Selecciones" Magazine – the Spanish-language version of "Reader's Digest,") which happens to work just as well in English as it does in Spanish:
I have a three-year-old son who is very chatty. Every time the microwave alarm goes off, he says, 'There goes the yourcrowave!' "
Mark Springer
Sacramento, CA USA
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Language pair: Spanish; English
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Mark S.
March 31, 2005
# Msgs: 1
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Mark S.
March 30, 2005
# Msgs: 2
Latest: March 31, 2005
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English Translation efforts Re:French Jokes, Volume 3
Here's an effort at translation into English:
This first one has me puzzled; perhaps someone will offer me some guidance:
A parachutist jumped into the void, but his parachute didn’t open. Desperate, he appealed to Saint Anthony for help.
An enormous hand came out of the clouds and caught him in midair. Then a voice thundered,
-Saint Anthony, that’s very nice, but what do you need?, (This is the best I can do, but it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me)
-Saint Anthony of Padua, you've terrorized that man!
-I’m sorry, It’s not me, said the voice
And the hand opened.
~
Un parachutiste saute dans le vide, mais son parachute ne fonctionne pas. Désespéré, il appelle saint Antoine a son secours.
Une énorme main sort d'un nuage et le saisit au passage. Puis une voix tonne:
-Saint Antoine, c'est bien joli, mais lequel tu demandes?
-Saint Antoine de Padoue, fait l'homme, terrorisé.
-Navré, ce n'est pas moi, dit la voix.
Et la main s'ouvre.
Two men were pacing (?) in the waiting room of a maternity ward. The first one said to the other,
-This awful tomb! Some way to spend a vacation!
And the other replied,
Mine’s worse! Ours is arriving right in the middle of our honeymoon!
Deux hommes font les cent pas dans la salle d'attente d'une maternité. Le premier dit a l'autre:
-Ça tombe mal! Ça me fout mes vacances en l'air!
Et l'autre répond:
-Moi, c'est pire! Ça arrive juste pendant le voyage de noces!
~
One midget ran into another.
So! You here? I don’t believe how often I keep seeing you again…
--Yeah, said the other, it sure is a small world.
Groan :-)
Un nain rencontre un autre nain:
-Ça alors! Toi ici? J'aurais jamais cru qu'on finisse par se revoir...
-Eh oui! dit l'autre. Le monde est petit.
Mark Springer
Sacramento, CA USA
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Language pair: French; English
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Mark S.
March 28, 2005
# Msgs: 2
Latest: March 28, 2005
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French Jokes, Volume 3
Back again! :)
Un parachutiste saute dans le vide, mais son parachute ne fonctionne pas. Désespéré, il appelle saint Antoine a son secours.
Une énorme main sort d'un nuage et le saisit au passage. Puis une voix tonne:
-Saint Antoine, c'est bien joli, mais lequel tu demandes?
-Saint Antoine de Padoue, fait l'homme, terrorisé.
-Navré, ce n'est pas moi, dit la voix.
Et la main s'ouvre.
~
Deux hommes font les cent pas dans la salle d'attente d'une maternité. Le premier dit a l'autre:
-Ça tombe mal! Ça me fout mes vacances en l'air!
Et l'autre répond:
-Moi, c'est pire! Ça arrive juste pendant le voyage de noces!
~
Un nain rencontre un autre nain:
-Ça alors! Toi ici? J'aurais jamais cru qu'on finisse par se revoir...
-Eh oui! dit l'autre. Le monde est petit.
Hehe. :-D Bye for now!
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Language pair: French; Gaelic (Irish)
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Sabrina J.
March 27, 2005
# Msgs: 2
Latest: March 28, 2005
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Anita's Corn Kernel Joke--in English
Thank you for your very cute joke, Anita. I'm not a French speaker, but this is what I got:
A young man who was a little eccentric went one day to consult his doctor.
"Listen, doctor, I have a problem. I am convinced that I'm a kernel of corn, and that causes problems for me. Take the other day, for example. I was walking beside an industrial poultry house, and I was suddenly terrified by the idea that the chickens might want to eat me. You can understand that if this continues, I could go completely mad!"
The doctor listened carefully and decided to take the man as a patient.
Eighteen months later, they were celebrating the patient's recovery together in a bar, when the doctor contrived to release a chicken.
On seeing the bird, the young man fled with all speed.
The doctor chased him down:
"What are you doing? You know perfectly well you're not a kernel of corn! The therapy! All that effort! All those sessions! Don't you get it?"
"Oh, yes, of course I realize that I"m not a kernel of corn, but the chicken—How do I know SHE knows!?"
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Language pair: English; French
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Mark S.
March 27, 2005
# Msgs: 2
Latest: March 27, 2005
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French Jokes, Volume 2
Hi all! :) Me again!
Many thanks to Natalyn for her kind words. I thought I might share more jokes with you! :-)
-Allô! c'est le surveillant général?
-Lui-même.
-Monsieur le surveillant général, je vous téléphone pour vous prevenir que Toto est très grippé et qu'il ne viendra pas en classe aujourd'hui.
-Ah, bon! Mais qui téléphone?
-C'est papa...
~
C'est un gars qui appelle le bureau de poste, et il dit:
-Par ici, le fil est trop long. Vous ne pourriez pas le tirer un peu de votre cote?
~
And, of course...
Dans une pauvre étable, un jeune charpentier s'approche de sa femme et il lui dit:
-Marie, qu'est-ce que tu as à pleurer comme ça?
Et la jeune femme en larmes:
-Oh, Joseph! J'aurais tellement voulu avoir une fille!
Happy Easter!
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Language pair: French; German
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Sabrina J.
March 26, 2005
# Msgs: 1
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Re:Pun testing
> As a follow-up to our conversation on
> puns and the difficulties in translating
> them: [...] Let us know if you have
> similar ones in your own language.
> Cany you think of ways to translate
> these?
>
The following entries can be translated
(nearly) literally into Finnish:
17. Jokaisen kalenterin päivät ovat luetut.
20. Hänellä oli valokuvamuisti, jota ei
koskaan kehitetty.
23. Ne, jotka eivät mahdu housuihinsa,
paljastuvat aina lopulta.
The following entries have been adapted
to local idioms:
5. Demokratiassa pääset antamaan äänesi
kreivin aikaan, feodalismissa kreivi
pääsee antamaan sinun äänesi aikanaan.
6. Hän piti poikaystävää, jolla oli
puujalka, mutta on pannut sen jo poikki.
8. Jollet maksa manaajalle, paha sinut
perii.
21. Ylänkö on korkeatasoinen tasanko.
27. Leipurit eivät juuri toistensa
töitä vaivaa.
29. Akupunktuuri on lääketieteellinen
päähänpisto.
30. Maraton on urheilu tuskissa jaloin.
These were quick ones. With time
better ones can probably be invented.
Puti
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Language pair: English; All
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Juha-Petri T.
March 22, 2005
# Msgs: 4
Latest: March 22, 2005
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i want to learn any cool idiom
hi my name is janice im from argentina and i´d like to learn differents idioms , make friends and im intrasted in other cultures, i speak spanish , hebrou, and a little of frech ..so please conect with me and i can teach you what i know and you to me .. bye .. janu!!
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Language pair: Spanish; English
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janu ..
March 22, 2005
# Msgs: 1
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Re:Translating jokes: Re:Crispbread / Näkkileipä
> I’m afraid I don’t speak Finnish,
> so I can't help you with your
> translation. But somehow I missed
> the joke.
>
A crumb (rather than "a piece") is
homonymous with "darling" in Finnish.
Puti
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Language pair: English; Spanish
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Juha-Petri T.
March 21, 2005
# Msgs: 4
Latest: March 22, 2005
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Pun testing
As a follow-up to our conversation on puns and the difficulties in translating them: They can also be an excellent way of monitoring how well you are doing with culture and language you are learning. Any of the following that do not make you laugh are either learning opporunities or poor jokes. For what it’s worth, I enjoyed nearly all of them. Let us know which ones you don’t get—you might learn something! Let us know if you have similar ones in your own language. Cany you think of ways to translate these?
01. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
02. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.
03. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
04. A backward poet writes inverse.
05. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes.
06. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
07. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
08. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
09. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
17. Every calendar's days are numbered.
18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
22. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
Mark Springer
Sacramento, CA USA
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Language pair: English; All
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Mark S.
March 19, 2005
# Msgs: 4
Latest: March 22, 2005
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