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lianshun z.
March 3, 2009
# Msgs: 3
Latest: March 3, 2009
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92-year-old man's physical exam
A doctor gave a 92-year-old man a physical exam. A few days later he happened to notice the man walking down the street with his arm around a gorgeous young woman and grinning from ear to ear.
The next time he encountered the man, the doctor said, "You are really doing great, aren't you?"
"Just doing what you said, Doc," the man agreed. "You said, 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"
"I didn't say that," replied the doctor. "I said you got a heart murmur. And be careful."
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Language pair: English; Chinese, Mandarin
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jade f.
March 1, 2009
# Msgs: 3
Latest: March 3, 2009
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Cigarettes Warnings
Recent Canadian government research has shown that cigarette smoking not only impairs sexual ability, it actually causes shrinkage of the male sexual "equipment."
Wow! If that is true, we need to get the word out ASAP! Maybe the warning on the cigarette packs should be updated to reflect this new information.
How about something like this:
* Warning: These cigarettes are king size -- how about you?
* Warning: Smoking sections in restaurants aren't the only things getting smaller.
* Warning: If you don't reduce your smoking, your smoking will reduce you.
* Warning: Smoking may lead to ridicule on your honeymoon.
* Warning: Smoke rises, but you may not.
* Warning: Second-hand smoke can be harmful to children -- That is.. if you're capable of conceiving any.
* Warning: Cigarettes get shorter the more you puff -- so do you.
* Warning: How can you enjoy a smoke afterwards, if there's no before?
* Warning: The only thing left after a smoke is a dead stub.
* Warning: Don't throw lit cigarettes in the urinal -- you might not have the range to put them out.
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Language pair: English; Chinese, Mandarin
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jade f.
February 27, 2009
# Msgs: 1
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jade f.
February 27, 2009
# Msgs: 1
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Hello everyone!!!
I'm a new guy here.I"m a chinese boy and I like make friends with all kinds of people.We can help with each other,such as language.
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Language pair: Chinese, Mandarin; English
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eagle F.
February 24, 2009
# Msgs: 1
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Too much noise in class
It was the first day of school.
As the principal made his rounds, he heard a terrible
commotion coming from one of the classrooms.
He rushed in and spotted one boy, taller than the others, who seemed to be making the most noise.
He seized the lad, dragged him to the hall, and told him to wait there until he was excused.
Returning to the classroom, the principal restored order and lectured the class for half an hour about the importance of good behavior.
"Now," he said, "are there any questions?"
One girl stood up timidly. " Please sir," she asked, "May we have our teacher back?"
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Language pair: English; Chinese, Mandarin
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jade f.
February 22, 2009
# Msgs: 2
Latest: March 12, 2009
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Hello
Hello!I'm a Chinese girl and I live in Chengde.Chinese mandarin which we are speaking in our area is the most normal.So I can analysis all kinds of dialect.If you want to improve your Chinese in a short time you can come to me.I'll try my best to help you.You should call me lichao.I usually online on weekends.You can call me lichao54(126).
Wish you have a good time,my deer friends!
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Language pair: Chinese, Mandarin; Estonian
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³¬ Helen À.
February 19, 2009
# Msgs: 2
Latest: February 19, 2009
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looking after what's important
A policeman noticed an old lady standing on a street corner during a sudden windstorm. She was bracing herself by holding a light post with one hand, and she was holding her hat snugly against her head with her other hand.
Unfortunately, a strong gust blew her dress upward, and it continued to flap in the wind, exposing her privates for everyone to see.
The policeman asked, "Hey Lady, everybody is taking a look at what you've got. Don't you think that pulling your dress down is more important than worrying about your hat?"
"Look, sonny,.... What these people are looking at is 85 years old...But this frigging hat is BRAND NEW!"
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Language pair: English; Chinese, Mandarin
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jade f.
February 18, 2009
# Msgs: 2
Latest: February 19, 2009
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Re:a joke
very funny!
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Language pair: English; Chinese, Mandarin
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(David) Daqun Z.
February 18, 2009
# Msgs: 2
Latest: February 18, 2009
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Re:Ugly Baby
Good joke!
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Language pair: English; Chinese, Mandarin
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(David) Daqun Z.
February 18, 2009
# Msgs: 2
Latest: February 18, 2009
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