| Most Recent Messages of Each Discussion |
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Pirate
Pirate goes into a bar, he's got a wooden leg, an eye-patch, a hook for a hand.
The barman sez - Wow, Jonny what happened to you? last time I saw you, a year ago, you looked in better shape!
"Well, lost me leg in a sea battle - other ship fired a cannon-ball, took me leg clean off. Just got fixed up with that and went back to pirating - this scabby sailor chop me hand off with his sword.
"so what about the eye-patch?"
" a bird sh*t in me eye!"
"but how can that be so serious"?
"it was my first day since I'd put the hook on my hand"
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Language pair: English; All
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Jerry G.
February 11, 2004
# Msgs: 1
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Re:Blondes
That was great!!! I'm blonde and I laugh the hardest at the blonde jokes... still good to hear one go the other way!!
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Language pair: English; Arabic, Egyptian
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Theresa
January 31, 2004
# Msgs: 1
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american version
January 23, 2004
# Msgs: 1
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David
November 11, 2003
# Msgs: 1
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A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling by Mark Twain
A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling by Mark Twain
For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped
to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer
be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained
would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2
might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the
same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with
"i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.
Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with
Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or
so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.
Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi
ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the
maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th"
rispektivli. Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi
wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking
werld.
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Language pair: English; All
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Dmitry L.
October 7, 2003
# Msgs: 1
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Just Wondering
Hi All!
Here some 'Just Wondering' jokes:
Why is a boxing ring square?
Why is it called lipstick if you can still open your mouth?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery?"
If a chicken bites a man, does he remark that the man tasted just like
chicken?
Why is it that night falls, but doesn't break, and morning breaks, but
never fell?
Isn't it redundant to pay a psychiatrist $100 an hour and then ask him if
you are crazy?
Which makes a woman more angry, flirting with her or not flirting with her?
If you get sick at an airport, is that considered a terminal illness?
Where do masochists go after death? To hell or to paradise?
If four out of five people SUFFER from diarrhea, does that mean that one
enjoys it?
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Language pair: English; All
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Dmitry L.
September 30, 2003
# Msgs: 1
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Re:Re:konnichi wa
i would love to learn japanese if you would teach me and i would also help you learn english. please?
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Language pair: English; All
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Becky n.
September 4, 2003
# Msgs: 1
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Check this joke
God created the donkey
and said to him.
"You will be a donkey. You will work un-tiringly from sunrise to
sunset
carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass,
you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years."
The donkey answered:
"I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is much. Give me only
20 years"
God granted his wish.
...........................................................
God created the dog
and said to him:
"You will guard the house of man. You will be his best Friend.
You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 30
years.
You will be a dog. " The dog answered:
"Sir, to live 30 years is too much,give me only 15 years.
" God granted his wish.
...........................................................
God created the monkey
and said to him:
"You will be a monkey. You will swing from branch to branch
doing tricks.
You will be amusing and you will live 20 years. " The monkey
answered:
"To live 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years."
God granted his wish.
...........................................................
Finally God created man
and said to him:
"You will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the
earth.
You will use your intelligence to become master over all the
animals.
You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years."
Man responded:
"Sir, I will be a man but to live only 20 years is very
little,
give me the 30 years that the donkey refused,
the 15 years that the dog did not want and
the 10 years the monkey refused.
" God granted man's wish
...........................................................
And since then, man lives 20 years as a man,
marries and spends 30 years like a donkey,
working and carrying all the burdens on his back.
Then whe n his children are grown,
he lives 15 years like a dog taking care of the house
and eating whatever is given to him,
so that when he is old,
he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey,
going from house to house and from one son or
daughter to another doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.
That's Life.
Is'nt (or is) it?
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Language pair: Urdu; English
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Abdul B.
August 30, 2003
# Msgs: 1
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A Riddle from Phil
What breaks by simply mentioning it's name?
¿Qué es lo que se rompe de tan sólo nombrarlo?
The silence. El silencio.
Please contact me if you want to practice your english, any native language is OK. Thank you, Philandrist
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Language pair: English; Spanish
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Mateo P.
July 12, 2003
# Msgs: 1
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Ausgetrickst!!
Kommt ein Mann mit seinem Fahrrad zur Post. Da er schnell in das Gebäude hineingehen gehen muss, hat er keine Zeit es abzuschließen.Er stellt es vor der Fassade ab und schreibt einen Zettel:" Bitte nicht stehlen! Vladimir Klitschko". Danach geht er in die Post.
Als er wieder herrauskommt, ist das Fahrrad weg. An dessen Stelle findet er nur einen Zettel: " Bitte nicht folgen! Jan Ulrich".
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Language pair: German; English
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Katharina J.
July 1, 2003
# Msgs: 1
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