| Most Recent Messages of Each Discussion |
Created by |
English Translation efforts Re:French Jokes, Volume 3
Here's an effort at translation into English:
This first one has me puzzled; perhaps someone will offer me some guidance:
A parachutist jumped into the void, but his parachute didn’t open. Desperate, he appealed to Saint Anthony for help.
An enormous hand came out of the clouds and caught him in midair. Then a voice thundered,
-Saint Anthony, that’s very nice, but what do you need?, (This is the best I can do, but it doesn’t make a lot of sense to me)
-Saint Anthony of Padua, you've terrorized that man!
-I’m sorry, It’s not me, said the voice
And the hand opened.
~
Un parachutiste saute dans le vide, mais son parachute ne fonctionne pas. Désespéré, il appelle saint Antoine a son secours.
Une énorme main sort d'un nuage et le saisit au passage. Puis une voix tonne:
-Saint Antoine, c'est bien joli, mais lequel tu demandes?
-Saint Antoine de Padoue, fait l'homme, terrorisé.
-Navré, ce n'est pas moi, dit la voix.
Et la main s'ouvre.
Two men were pacing (?) in the waiting room of a maternity ward. The first one said to the other,
-This awful tomb! Some way to spend a vacation!
And the other replied,
Mine’s worse! Ours is arriving right in the middle of our honeymoon!
Deux hommes font les cent pas dans la salle d'attente d'une maternité. Le premier dit a l'autre:
-Ça tombe mal! Ça me fout mes vacances en l'air!
Et l'autre répond:
-Moi, c'est pire! Ça arrive juste pendant le voyage de noces!
~
One midget ran into another.
So! You here? I don’t believe how often I keep seeing you again…
--Yeah, said the other, it sure is a small world.
Groan :-)
Un nain rencontre un autre nain:
-Ça alors! Toi ici? J'aurais jamais cru qu'on finisse par se revoir...
-Eh oui! dit l'autre. Le monde est petit.
Mark Springer
Sacramento, CA USA
|
Language pair: French; English
|
|
Mark S.
March 28, 2005
# Msgs: 2
Latest: March 28, 2005
|
Anita's Corn Kernel Joke--in English
Thank you for your very cute joke, Anita. I'm not a French speaker, but this is what I got:
A young man who was a little eccentric went one day to consult his doctor.
"Listen, doctor, I have a problem. I am convinced that I'm a kernel of corn, and that causes problems for me. Take the other day, for example. I was walking beside an industrial poultry house, and I was suddenly terrified by the idea that the chickens might want to eat me. You can understand that if this continues, I could go completely mad!"
The doctor listened carefully and decided to take the man as a patient.
Eighteen months later, they were celebrating the patient's recovery together in a bar, when the doctor contrived to release a chicken.
On seeing the bird, the young man fled with all speed.
The doctor chased him down:
"What are you doing? You know perfectly well you're not a kernel of corn! The therapy! All that effort! All those sessions! Don't you get it?"
"Oh, yes, of course I realize that I"m not a kernel of corn, but the chicken—How do I know SHE knows!?"
|
Language pair: English; French
|
|
Mark S.
March 27, 2005
# Msgs: 2
Latest: March 27, 2005
|
Re:Pun testing
> As a follow-up to our conversation on
> puns and the difficulties in translating
> them: [...] Let us know if you have
> similar ones in your own language.
> Cany you think of ways to translate
> these?
>
The following entries can be translated
(nearly) literally into Finnish:
17. Jokaisen kalenterin päivät ovat luetut.
20. Hänellä oli valokuvamuisti, jota ei
koskaan kehitetty.
23. Ne, jotka eivät mahdu housuihinsa,
paljastuvat aina lopulta.
The following entries have been adapted
to local idioms:
5. Demokratiassa pääset antamaan äänesi
kreivin aikaan, feodalismissa kreivi
pääsee antamaan sinun äänesi aikanaan.
6. Hän piti poikaystävää, jolla oli
puujalka, mutta on pannut sen jo poikki.
8. Jollet maksa manaajalle, paha sinut
perii.
21. Ylänkö on korkeatasoinen tasanko.
27. Leipurit eivät juuri toistensa
töitä vaivaa.
29. Akupunktuuri on lääketieteellinen
päähänpisto.
30. Maraton on urheilu tuskissa jaloin.
These were quick ones. With time
better ones can probably be invented.
Puti
|
Language pair: English; All
|
|
Juha-Petri T.
March 22, 2005
# Msgs: 4
Latest: March 22, 2005
|
i want to learn any cool idiom
hi my name is janice im from argentina and i´d like to learn differents idioms , make friends and im intrasted in other cultures, i speak spanish , hebrou, and a little of frech ..so please conect with me and i can teach you what i know and you to me .. bye .. janu!!
|
Language pair: Spanish; English
|
|
janu ..
March 22, 2005
# Msgs: 1
|
Re:Translating jokes: Re:Crispbread / Näkkileipä
> I’m afraid I don’t speak Finnish,
> so I can't help you with your
> translation. But somehow I missed
> the joke.
>
A crumb (rather than "a piece") is
homonymous with "darling" in Finnish.
Puti
|
Language pair: English; Spanish
|
|
Juha-Petri T.
March 21, 2005
# Msgs: 4
Latest: March 22, 2005
|
Pun testing
As a follow-up to our conversation on puns and the difficulties in translating them: They can also be an excellent way of monitoring how well you are doing with culture and language you are learning. Any of the following that do not make you laugh are either learning opporunities or poor jokes. For what it’s worth, I enjoyed nearly all of them. Let us know which ones you don’t get—you might learn something! Let us know if you have similar ones in your own language. Cany you think of ways to translate these?
01. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
02. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.
03. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
04. A backward poet writes inverse.
05. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes.
06. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
07. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
08. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
09. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
17. Every calendar's days are numbered.
18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
22. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
30. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
Mark Springer
Sacramento, CA USA
|
Language pair: English; All
|
|
Mark S.
March 19, 2005
# Msgs: 4
Latest: March 22, 2005
|
Translating jokes: Re:Crispbread / Näkkileipä
I’m afraid I don’t speak Finnish, so I can't help you with your translation. But somehow I missed the joke. I look forward to seeing what another Finnish English speaker has to say about your translation.
Of course, the problem may not be with your translation. Some jokes just don’t translate well. For example, we have one in English:
Riddle: What did one firecracker say to the other?
Answer: My pop is bigger than your pop!
This is cute in English because “pop” can either mean the popping sound that the firecracker makes, or it could mean the fathers of the firecrackers, since "pop" is one way of saying "dad" in English. Because in American culture children on the schoolyard often compete by bragging about their fathers, the answer to the riddle has a clever double meaning in the dialogue between the firecrackers. Another example:
Riddle: What did the tablecloth say to the table?
Answer: Don’t move! I’ve got you covered!
Like the first riddle, this one depends heavily not only on English language but on our culture. The riddle has a literal meaning, that the table cloth is covering the table, which isn’t particularly interesting. But the fact that the expression, “I’ve got you covered” is also an idiom we use in gunfights to communicate to someone that we have a weapon pointed at them and are ready to shoot if they misbehave turns this very commonplace situation into an action adventure. Not only is the table ready for dinner, but it’s life may be in danger if it tries to run away.
Your riddle sounds like it comes from a similar style, and because it seems so strange to me in English, it makes me wonder if the Finnish for “My pieces” might not have some alternative meaning in Finnish that doesn’t exist in English.
Sometimes there are ways to translate these jokes by looking for a similar relationship in the second language/culture that conveys a similar humorous association. For example, I’m not aware that they have a word in Spanish that means an exploding noise and also one’s father. But it happens that Spanish has another word like their word for father, which means potato. So if I wanted to translate the joke into Spanish, I might try recasting it so that maybe one farmer says to another farmer, “mi papa es mejor que el tuyo,” My papa/potato is better than yours.” Perhaps not an entirely successful translation, since it's easier to imagine firecrackers as children on a schoolyard than farmers, who we think of as adults. And of course, I don't know if children in Spanish-speaking cultures aren't given to duels at bragging about their fathers on the schoolyard, which is critical to the humor here; but perhaps you see my meaning.
Good luck!
Mark Springer
Sacramento CA USA
|
Language pair: English; Spanish
|
|
Mark S.
March 18, 2005
# Msgs: 4
Latest: March 22, 2005
|
Joke: By the Numbers
Just a reminder to newcomers, that this board is organized by topics. I notice we're having a lot of people looking for partners in the jokes section. Many of us are coming here looking to tell jokes and read jokes, so if all we can find are request for partners, it's a bit frustrating. Please go back to the main board area and post your requests in the seeking partners area, down toward the bottom of the list. Be sure to ask the management or the rest of us if you need help.
And now, for anyone here looking for some fun, I hope you'll enjoy my contribution:
On a remote Aleutian Island, a crew maintains a satellite communications terminal. Since very few people are willing to go up there to work, those who are there have to stay for a very long time, and they all get to know each other very well. One of the great problems in this situation is that it’s really hard to get any jokes there that everyone hasn’t heard. So on Friday evenings, when everyone settles down for a couple of beers and a little relaxation, they save time and effort by assigning each of their jokes a number. So when they want to tell one, they only need to say:
“17!”
And everyone busts up laughing, “Ah! 17, that’s great! One of my favorites!
Then someone else will pipe in with “23!”
“Ahhh Hahahah! 23! What a dopey guy! God I love number 23!”
Well, on one of the very rare occasion that they actually got a new technician, Ed Brown, into the installation, he’d been there a few days when Friday rolled around. He was fascinated watching these guys all sitting around, and one goes, “38!” and everyone starts busting up laughing, thinking that’s so funny. And then someone else says “9!” And everyone starts laughing again.
Ed has never seen anything like this, and he’s fascinated. And he taps Jerry Simms, the guy who’s been showing him around, on the arm and says, “Hey, Jerry, you think I could try that?”
And Jerry says, “Hey, knock yourself out, man.”
So Ed stands up, and everybody looks at him, smiling, and Ed says:
“3!”
Their eyes all glaze over, and the smiles fade. People are shaking their heads with puzzled expressions on their faces, and Ed is really stumped. He can’t imagine what he could have done wrong.
So he goes back and sits down by Jerry, scratching his head, and Jerry pats him on the back, saying, “Don’t let it get you down, Ed. Some people just can’t tell a joke.
|
Language pair: English; All
|
|
Mark S.
March 17, 2005
# Msgs: 1
|
Re:Hello to all
hi zulfi
i hope that you are fine, mi name is fernando and i want to practice my english and to teach spanish
i am married and we have two babies ,i woulk like to learn a lot of english .i am from cali colombia
regards
fernando
|
Language pair: English; Spanish
|
|
fernando h.
March 17, 2005
# Msgs: 1
|
Million Dollar Fingerbowl
One day a cowboy walks into a bar. He passes a very small man, no more than a foot tall, standing on a piano bench and playing the piano. The cowboy sits at the counter and orders a beer. He’s been there just a few minutes when he notices this very ornate jewel-encrusted cloisonné finger bowl full of water. Puzzled as to why such an odd thing would be sitting on the bar, he asks the bartender about it.
The bartender says, “well, that there’s a magic fingerbowl. You wet your fingers in it and rub them three times around the rim while you think about your wish. Be careful, though. It don’t always come out the way you imagine.
Well, the cowboy figured, “hell, what did he have to lose?” So he dipped a couple fingers in the bowl, ran them three times around the rim while he thought about his wish. He’d barely finished when suddenly there was a horrible noise out in the street. Not knowing what to think, he ran out the front entrance to the bar, the bartender right behind him,to find the streets flooded with squawking, quacking ducks in every direction as far as he could see.
“Goll dern, boy,”exclaimed the bartender, “What on earth did you wish for?
I wished for a million bucks!” said the cowboy, “Not a million ducks! What’s the matter with that thing?”
“Now, don’t go takin’ it personal” said the bartender.”You don’t think I went askin’ for no twelve inch pianist…”
Mark Springer
Sacramento, CA, USA
|
Language pair: English; All
|
|
Mark S.
March 8, 2005
# Msgs: 1
|
