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Una broma adulto: De categoría “R”
Un hombre fue al bar para beber algunas cervezas. Al acercar a la barra, le notó un cuenco bastante grande, y lleno de dinero. Muy atónito, le preguntó al camarero por que era allí ese dinero.
El camarero le dijo, “detrás del bar en el granero esta un caballo. Ese dinero es por alguien que puede hacer que el caballo rea.”
“Bien” dice el cliente, quien fue inmediatamente al granero.
Algunos minutos después, regresó el hombre quien pide que el camarero venga al granero. El otro accedió, siguiendo el hombre volviendo al granero, donde ve algo increíble. El caballo estaba tendido en el suelo, revolcándose de acá para allá, coceando los cascos, y riendo como pude continuar hasta el fin del mundo.
Bien asombrado, el camarero lo dio el dinero al hombre, quien gozó una tarde relajante y agradable, y volvió a su casa.
Unas semanas después, el hombre regreso al bar, y de nuevo vi un cuenco grande, lleno de dinero como antes.
Otra vez preguntó al camarero para qué es eso dinero, y esta vez, el empleado dijo, “ese dinero es para alguien que puede hacer que al caballo llore.”
“De acuerdo,” respondí el cliente, quien iba de inmediato al granero.
Un par de minutos después, llamó el hombre al trabajador para ver al caballo, que era tendido en el suelo otra vez, pero ahora, llorando como todo sus parientes y amigos hayan muerto. Hizo charcos que crecían tan rápido que ya apenas pueden encontrar lugares para pisar.
Negando con la cabeza en incredulidad, el camarero guió al cliente de nuevo al bar, y al punto de darle el secundo cuenco de dinero, se detuvo, rugiendo, “No puedo seguir sin saber. Debe decirme cómo lo hizo.”
El ganador de dos veces lo dijo, “La primera vez, dije al caballo que tengo un palo mas grande que el suyo…”
“Ah,” dice el camarero, “ese tiene razón. Pero, ¿y hoy?”
“Hoy, lo mostré.”
Mark Springer
Sacramento, CA, USA
Miembro normal
Hablando: inglés, español
Estudiando: español, portugués
Estudié: alemán, turco, chino mandarín
Jugué con: ruso, hebreo, latín, tagalog, francés, lenguaje por señas.
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Language pair: Spanish; English
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Mark S.
February 17, 2005
# Msgs: 1
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Re:Was ist Los?
Thie Finnish equivalent of "how are you?" is "mitä kuuluu?", which could be literally understood as "what is audible?", i.e. "what are you hearing?". With a bit of luck you may actually get a funny answer to this perfectly normal question in Finland.
(Actually the verb "kuulua" may be a homonymous pair, meaning "to belong", and thus the real meaning of "mitä kuuluu?" would be "what kinds of things belong to your life nowadays?")
Puti
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Language pair: German; English
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Juha-Petri T.
February 16, 2005
# Msgs: 3
Latest: June 5, 2005
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Was ist Los?
Native English Speakers are probably familiar with the following silliness:
Kid #1: What’s up?
Kid #2: The SKY’s up!!!
You will be relieved to know that we are not the only ones in the world doing this. A friend of mine in Germany once told me of a very similar game they play in Deutschland:
Kind 1: Vas ist Los?
Kind 2: Der Hund is los, und die katze ist in der keller!
“Vas ist Los” is the German for “What’s up”, but “los” doesn’t mean “up” in German; it means “loose”
So the response, “Der Hund ist los, und de katze ist in der keller” means, “the dog is loose and the cat is in the cellar”.
Isn’t it nice to know that silliness is universal?
Puti? Cameron? Dwyn?
Perhaps silliness could form a basis for the new Esperanto!
Cheers,
Mark Springer
CSUS Sacramento, CA, USA
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Language pair: German; English
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Mark S.
February 15, 2005
# Msgs: 3
Latest: June 5, 2005
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Re:NOT A GOLD MEMEBER
Hi, I'm not a gold member too, and I need practice my english, my mother language is spanish, please contact me if you would like improve your spanish and help me with my english. see you soo.
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Language pair: English; Spanish
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Diana G.
February 15, 2005
# Msgs: 2
Latest: February 23, 2005
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Drunks on the town
I won't get to translate this tonight (maybe someone else will enjoy the exercise) but I wanted to share a joke:
Two drunks are in a bar on the top floor of the Empire State Building.
The first says to the second, "You know, the updraft on this building is so strong, you can jump out the window, and it'll catch you and bring you right back up again."
The second drunk says, "Yeah, sure. Now I've heard 'em all!"
But the first says, "No, no! I'm serious! Look, I'll show you! Come on!" and the first drunk staggers over to the window, the second staggering along behind, spilling gin out of his glass the whole way.
So the first opens the window, sticks a hand out to feel the wind, and he counts, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and then he jumps out the window. The second drunk is horrified, but he can't take his eyes off the outragious sight of his companion shrinking smaller, and smaller, and smaller as he fades into the distance.....and then....a small dot, some hundred and fifty storeys below, he unbeleivably stops shrinking. The second drunk shakes his head to clear his eyes, and he can't believe it, but the other seems to come closer, and closer and closer...until he's back there outsid the window yelling "quick! Grab my arm and pull me in!" Shocked back out of his reverie, the second drunk grabs the first by the arm and pulls him back in the window, and he is overwhelmed with excitement, and he says, "OMIGOD! You HAVE to show me how you do that! I have to TRY that! How do I DO it?!!
And the first drunk says, okay, calm down, I'll show you just hang on a minute...
And the first drunk sticks his hand out the window, and he counts, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Go! and he slaps his companion on the back, and the second drunk jumps out the window.
The first drunk watches, bemused, as the other falls down 20 flights, 40, 80, 160, shrinking to the tiniest dot until he disappears in the distance. The first drunk shakes his head. Closes the window, and staggers back to the bar.
He sits on a stool, orders another drink. The bartender grunts. He slams the drink down in front of the drunk with disgust, saying,
"You are an evil son of a bitch when you're drunk, Superman!"
Mark Springer
Sacramento, CA, USA
Normal member
Speaking: English, Spanish
Studying: Spanish, Portuguese
Studied: German, Turkish, Mandarin Chinese
Played with: Russian, Hebrew, Latin, Tagalog, French, Sign language.
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Language pair: English; Spanish
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Mark S.
February 15, 2005
# Msgs: 1
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Re:teach me spanish please
Hi Christina,
I'm answering this because the first time I saw this message it was right above one of mine. I didn't think you were writing to me, because there was nothing in your message to suggest you were, but I figured I'd check just in case, rather than worry if you thought I was snubbing you.
Anyway, your message doesn't say who you're talking to or anything, so I was thinking you might want to either make it a reply to someone's message, or put their name in the message when you send it. On the other hand, if you just wanted the message to be to "any native Spanish speaker" or something like that, it would be helpful to put that kind of information in your message.
Best of luck speaking Spanish! It's a really cool language. I'm not a native speaker, but I've been speaking for a while; so if you have questions, I'll help if I can.
Cheers!
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Language pair: Spanish; English
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Mark S.
February 15, 2005
# Msgs: 2
Latest: February 15, 2005
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Re:Re:The Ring
It was her phone number, Thomas.
It's kind of a silly joke. She asks him to give her a ring--meaning a wedding ring, but he misunderstands, thinking she wants him to give her a phone call.
Mark
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Language pair: English; All
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Mark S.
February 14, 2005
# Msgs: 1
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Re:Re:what you can write in a letter to say hi , dear.. and see you soon, my best whises..
Hi Christina,
I've often seen letters in Spanish open with "Querido Christina", Just like you'd say, "Dear Christina," in English.
I'm not sure if by "meeting" someone, you mean meeting as in introductions, or meeting as in the beginning of a visit. The first time I meet someone, I'll say, "Mucho gusto conocerte," I'm very pleased to meet you.
For a visit, I'll say, "¡Hola! ¿Qué tal?," "Hi! How are you?"
The Spanish for "see you soon" would be "¡Hasta pronto!"
My dictionary gives "recuerdos" for "best wishes."
So much depends on what country is involved. Where is your Spanish-speaking friend from?
If you're looking for a bunch of very useful phrases for someone just beginning to learn Spanish, you shoould find something very useful at your local library, or you can get a phrasebook pretty inexpensively at the bookstore. That should cover most of what you need to learn when you're starting out. It might be a lot more convenient for you than posting here and waiting a couple of days for answers to come back.
Hope this is helpful!
Mark Springer
Sacramento, CA, USA
Normal member
Speaking: English, Spanish
Studying: Spanish, Portuguese
Studied: German, Turkish, Mandarin Chinese
Played with: Russian, Hebrew, Latin, Tagalog, French, Sign language.
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Language pair: Spanish; English
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Mark S.
February 14, 2005
# Msgs: 1
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Re:teach me spanish please
I will teach spanish to you, but you will teach english to me... ok??? Write me.
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Language pair: English; Spanish
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Rodrigo B.
February 14, 2005
# Msgs: 2
Latest: February 15, 2005
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Elefantes estrafalarios
Descubrió unos chistes sobre elefantes que me recuerdan de un par bastante gracioso que puedo agregar:
I’ve run across a few jokes about elephants which remind me of a couple rather funny jokes I can share:
¿Cómo puede saber que ha estado un elefante en su frigorífico?
How can you tell that there’s been an elephant in your refrigerator?
Por las huellas que encontrara en la mantequilla.
By the footprints you find in the butter.
¿Por qué sentó el elefante sobre el marshmallow?
Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow?
Para evitar caer en el chocolate caliente.
To keep from falling in the hot cocoa.
Tal vez alguien puede enseñarme cómo decir “marshmallow” en español sin tener que decir algo como “bombón de merengue blando”
Hopefully someone can teach me a better way to say “marshmallow” in Spanish than saying, “soft meringue candy.”
Mark Springer
Sacramento, CA, USA
Miembro normal (estudiante en Universidad de tiempo completo: ¡no tengo dinero por las extras!)
Hablando: inglés, español
Estudiando: español, portugués
Estudié: alemán, turco, chino mandarín
Jugué con: ruso, hebreo, latín, tagalog, francés, lenguaje por señas.
¡Codicio intercambiar con usted!
Mark Springer
Sacramento, CA, USA
Normal member (Full-time college student--no money for extras!)
Speaking: English, Spanish
Studying: Spanish, Portuguese
Studied: German, Turkish, Mandarin Chinese
Played with: Russian, Hebrew, Latin, Tagalog, French, Sign language.
I look forward to exchanging with you!
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Language pair: Spanish; English
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Mark S.
February 13, 2005
# Msgs: 1
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