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Check this joke
God created the donkey
and said to him.
"You will be a donkey. You will work un-tiringly from sunrise to
sunset
carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass,
you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years."
The donkey answered:
"I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is much. Give me only
20 years"
God granted his wish.
...........................................................
God created the dog
and said to him:
"You will guard the house of man. You will be his best Friend.
You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 30
years.
You will be a dog. " The dog answered:
"Sir, to live 30 years is too much,give me only 15 years.
" God granted his wish.
...........................................................
God created the monkey
and said to him:
"You will be a monkey. You will swing from branch to branch
doing tricks.
You will be amusing and you will live 20 years. " The monkey
answered:
"To live 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years."
God granted his wish.
...........................................................
Finally God created man
and said to him:
"You will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the
earth.
You will use your intelligence to become master over all the
animals.
You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years."
Man responded:
"Sir, I will be a man but to live only 20 years is very
little,
give me the 30 years that the donkey refused,
the 15 years that the dog did not want and
the 10 years the monkey refused.
" God granted man's wish
...........................................................
And since then, man lives 20 years as a man,
marries and spends 30 years like a donkey,
working and carrying all the burdens on his back.
Then whe n his children are grown,
he lives 15 years like a dog taking care of the house
and eating whatever is given to him,
so that when he is old,
he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey,
going from house to house and from one son or
daughter to another doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.
That's Life.
Is'nt (or is) it?
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Language pair: Urdu; English
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Abdul B.
August 30, 2003
# Msgs: 1
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A Riddle from Phil
What breaks by simply mentioning it's name?
¿Qué es lo que se rompe de tan sólo nombrarlo?
The silence. El silencio.
Please contact me if you want to practice your english, any native language is OK. Thank you, Philandrist
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Language pair: English; Spanish
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Mateo P.
July 12, 2003
# Msgs: 1
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Ausgetrickst!!
Kommt ein Mann mit seinem Fahrrad zur Post. Da er schnell in das Gebäude hineingehen gehen muss, hat er keine Zeit es abzuschließen.Er stellt es vor der Fassade ab und schreibt einen Zettel:" Bitte nicht stehlen! Vladimir Klitschko". Danach geht er in die Post.
Als er wieder herrauskommt, ist das Fahrrad weg. An dessen Stelle findet er nur einen Zettel: " Bitte nicht folgen! Jan Ulrich".
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Language pair: German; English
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Katharina J.
July 1, 2003
# Msgs: 1
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Paddy in a Pub Quiz
Paddy was in a pub quiz and when it was his turn his question was:
Name a Bird that does not fly?
Paddy replied: I know one that Bird from Casualty.
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Language pair: English; Italian
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Mike C.
June 29, 2003
# Msgs: 1
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Der Wissenschaftler
Er: Ist das Ihr Sohn, der gerade meinen Picknickkorb mit Sand füllt?
Sie: Nein, meiner probiert gerade aus, ob Ihr Radio auch unter Wasser funktioniert!!
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Language pair: German; English
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Katharina J.
May 6, 2003
# Msgs: 1
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Une blague coquine
A naughty joke in french (+ little vocabulary at the end !)
Deux femmes un peu vulgaires discutent comme le feraient deux femmes inactives en train de médire... Par la fenêtre, l'une des deux aperçoit son mari qui rentre du travail un bouquet de fleurs a la main.
-- Eh merde, voila mon mec avec des fleurs, il va encore falloir que j'écarte les cuisses !
-- Ben pourquoi, tu n'as pas de vase ?
discuter = to chat
en train de médire = gossiping maliciously :o)
apercevoir = to see
mari = husband
rentrer = to come back
travail = work
Eh merde = oh shit
mec = guy
falloir = to must
écarter = to spread
cuisses = legs (precisely: thigh)
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Language pair: French; German
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Miguel L.
March 5, 2003
# Msgs: 1
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Two hunters
Two hunters are in the forest when one of them falls to the ground. He does not seem to be breathing. The other man dials the emergency hotline on his cell phone: "I think my friend is dead! What should I do?"
The operator says, "Relax... we need to be certain he really is dead."
The operator hears a gunshot, then the guy asks, "Okay, what next?"
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Language pair: English; All
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Don
February 10, 2003
# Msgs: 1
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ALERT
LIZ!!!!!
IF YOU WANT TO LEARN HOW TO SPEAK ENGLISH, CONTACT ME NOW....DON'T LET THE GRASS GROW UNDER YOUR FEET!!!
ARMANDO
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Language pair: Portuguese; English
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Armando D.
February 6, 2003
# Msgs: 1
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Learn Portuguese
If anyone speaks english wants to learn english, contact me now!!!!!!
Hey you now....it´s your chance!
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Language pair: Portuguese; English
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Armando D.
February 5, 2003
# Msgs: 1
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A velhinha trepadeira.
A velhinha trepadeira.
A dona de um puteiro resolveu fazer um recadastramento para as garotas que
estava precisando de dinheiro e que quisesse trabalhar lá.
Não demorou muito tempo e fila já estava formada na frente do boteco.
Uma velhinha que estava passando por ali ficou curiosa e foi logo
perguntando:
- Oh minha filha, esta fila é para quê?
E a moça, com vergonha de dizer tal indecência para a coroa, respondeu:
- É para catar laranja no pé, tia.
E a velhinha resolveu entrar na fila.
Esperou um pouco, até que chegou a vez dela.
A dona do puteiro espantada com a noventona, indagou:
- A senhora a esta idade ainda trepa?
- Trepar eu não trepo, mas, chupo que é uma beleza.
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Language pair: Portuguese; English
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Armando D.
December 16, 2002
# Msgs: 1
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